British Success Uncovered

     As we approach the anniversary of Mr. Armstrong & Mr. Aldrin’s well known landing on the Moon. Let me take the gentle reader on a voyage fantastique of which the history books keep a mysterious silence.

     For I can reveal, that the first man to walk on the surface of the Moon was none other than Britain’s very own Captain George Formby. After a glittering career in the military, bringing off such coups as infiltrating a Nazi Spy ring, and delivering a good old knuckle sandwhich to Mr. Hitler (in his very own bunker)- not to mention serving as a crack RAF fighter pilot.serving  obviously George was the man for the job. He was dubious as to whether he could pull off a trip to the lunar surface. He soon changed his mind.

     After months of  training at the hitherto secret training academy in Skegness, Formby emerged with his sidekicks of Captains Sidney James and Hattie Jacques. At last they were ready to go boldy where no man had been before.

     Eventually, in October 1957  a window of opportunity presented itself, and the trio clambered into the invention of the now infamous Dr. Brunel. The Space-Balloon secretly ascended into the atmosphere above the salty air of Skegness.

Dr. Brunel's designs

     The journey was fraught with danger, accounts of which are still too vague and unsettling to recount here. Albeit to say that after a fortnights flight they eventually descended to the mysterious lunar territory. Almost immediately they were met by the curious inhabitants of our sole satellite. After a series of unlikely adventures the Soup Dragon was slaughtered, and the Clangers were a free people.

The Revolution Begins

     Out intrepid trio stayed for ginger beer and cheese sandwhiches, but had to be back on Earth to report their findings.

     As if this were not enough, Sir George Formby went on to further success in other fields of human endeavour. Of course, his winning the Grand National and the Isle of Man T.T. have been well documented in the popular press. In his 60’s he was elected Member of Parliament for Bristol East, whereupon he famously pushed through the Octopus Protection Bill. Upon retiring to spend more time actively in politics, he became an inventor. Younger readers will probably be more familiar with the George Formby Grill.