18
Jul
09

A fly in the ointment

     As we approach the anniversary of the first ever Americans to land on le blanc fromage, the Hubble telescope has turned its sights upon the sea of tranquility. To the horror of NASA they have discovered that there was in fact a fourth occupant of Apollo 11. Unknown to the authorities at the time, Messrs Aldrin and Armstrong smuggled aboard Hattie Jacques. Her role it can be revealed was to ensure that the dinner was on the table on time, space-suits were ironed according to NASA regulations, and a certain amount of pleasuring during their time on the Moon. Mr Aldrin, has recently confessed that on leaving the Moon, they panicked, and left her to live on the Moon, fearing a backlash from the authorities. New Photos reveal that all this time Hattie has survived on a limited diet of lunar cheese and Lucozade.

Hattie during the 1967 training program

Hattie during the 1967 training program

     The planned revisitation to the Moon was placed in disarray, as the possibility of a fiery reunion with the wrathful Ms Jacques has placed a fly in the ointment. Major improvements to security, and the development of special anti-Hattie weapons will set back the project by at least six months. A second school of thought has proposed that the next astronaut to step foot on the Moon should be Captain Kenneth Williams. She always had a soft spot for him, apparently. NASA is observing the situation with growing interest.

Mr. Williams last Tuesday

Mr. Williams last Tuesday

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2 Responses to “A fly in the ointment”


  1. July 20, 2009 at 8:47 pm

    Interesting revelations there old bean. I was under the misapprehension that they were both dead. Damn you conspiracy theorists.

  2. 2 dandymills
    July 23, 2009 at 4:51 pm

    Dead! Bunkum dear boy. Little is known that during Carry on Screaming, all the cast were actually cloned for use in the space program.


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